Part 10: U + UR Hand

I think Pink says it best really. Let me just quote this song cuz she (like me) also knows, THE DEAL. Now pay attention here peeps cuz this one is for all y'all.
U + UR HAND...Pink
Check it out
Going out
On the late night
Looking tight
Feeling nice
It's a cock fight
I can tell
I just know
That it's going down
Tonight
At the door we don't wait cause we know them
At the bar six shots just beginning
That's when dick head put his hands on me
But you see

I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight

Midnight
I'm drunk
I don't give a fuck
Wanna dance
By myself
Guess you're outta luck
Don't touch
Back up
I'm not the one
Buh bye
Listen up it's just not happening
You can say what you want to your boyfriends
Just let me have my fun tonight
Aiight

I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight

In the corner with your boys you bet 'em five bucks
You'd get the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck
We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see
So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah

You know who you are
High fivin, talking shit, but you're going home alone arentcha?

Cause I'm not here for your entertainment
No
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
It's just you and your hand

I'm not here for your entertainment
No no no
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
Just take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight


OK let's discuss this. During the last trip to THE BAR with THE BFF we saw four other beavers we knew. We know these chicks because they are mothers of our daughters friends. Grown ass women. These bitches were all over each other on the dance floor. Rubbing and grinding on each other and crap. They looked like total slamhounds. We won't even talk about the fact that they all had giant muffin tops and when they were dancing they were so effing drunk they didn't realize that the skin tight tank tops they were wearing to cover their nasty muffin tops were riding up and exposing the skin of said muffin tops. Ew.
This was not the first time I've seen this. A few weeks ago I was at another bar far from my beaver dam where this same 'skank phenomenon' took place before my very own eyes. Again, with the muffin tops. And the skin tight tank tops. Ok, going off track here a sec but do they not own a full length mirror? What the eff?
Moving on. This brings me to the song. I know you were waiting for some kind of point here and I won't disappoint ya. Maybe.
OK, because of this 'skank phenomenon' that seems to be overtaking the world beavers like me and BFF cannot go out without some cocknock loser trying to skeeze his way into our lady region.
OK, NOT EVERY GIRL AT THE BAR WANTS TO FUCK.
Remember that next time you go out. Nothing pisses me off more than some dickhead trying to buy me a shot. The ONLY reason a petersmack wants to buy you a shot is because he's hoping to have a shot at your lady region. And as we discussed previously beavers like me, do NOT hook up (you go Kelly). I have to assume that me and my BFF are not alone in this refusal to enjoy a good 'skank phenomenon'. There must be others, somewhere.
That reminds me, I see some of you silly beavers walk right off to the bathroom leaving your mixed drink or or whatever cute thing you're drinking on the bar, unattended. Are you crazy? I've seen some of you retards even tell the guy BUYING your drink to watch it for you. A perfect stranger, buying you drinks, you just met, in the bar, like, ten minutes ago....this is the person you want to watch your drink? I guess you tried? Maybe? No, no not really.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah.
So...to the skanky bitches partaking in the shaking of your ass against your BFF's crotch....KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF. You make it hard for us beavers who are just bored to go have fun and maybe get a buzz before going to their homes ALONE.
We are the ones at the bar just trying to have a good time and not be bothered. Unfortunately since we are the only ones not half licking each other on the damn dance floor, we are also left with the vultures who think it's a meat market thanks to you slamhound skankers of the universe.
And those men you've got paying attention? IMO they're prolly wondering the same thing I am...'that chick needs a stylist....asap' and 'awww...her friends didn't love each other enough to tell each other how awful they look'. I mean really. I would totally tell my BFF "Um, you might want to rethink that outfit.' C'mon girls, get it together.
And if by the grace of Slash should he still want to fuck you muffin tops and all? He's gonna be a classy fella. Surely. You should totally go for it, sounds like Prince Charming.
The biggest insult I've ever had was when some skanky whore thought I was hitting on her nasty boyfriend who was actually trying to buy me a beer and I was telling him to fuck off. The insult lie in the fact that ANYONE ANYWHERE thought for one damn second I'd be interested in THAT guy. I was really insulted. And I told her so.
Do I sound like I'm the kind of girl who's at THE BAR looking for some dickhead to cause further irritation to an already stressful existence? Am I? No, No I'm not. And I am certain I am not the only one. Why can't people just go have fun anymore without some slobbering drunken idiot trying to feel your ass when you walk by his bar stool (fork, meet eye)? I'll tell you why. Because the skank phenomenon is overtaking the world and men have come to expect all beavers to behave like porn stars. Now I know, the majority of the population is crazy as hell but there are some of us beavers still left that ain't having it. And THAT is why Pink wrote that song I believe.

It is my theme song.